How to work with repressed emotions: an honest guide from holistic therapy (Dubai)

Repressed emotions are one of the most frequent reasons clients come to my consultation — although it’s rarely the first thing they verbalise. They arrive saying “I’m tired all the time”, “I’ve been sleeping badly for months”, “my neck is blocked”, “I can’t connect with my partner” — and when we start exploring, there is almost always an emotional life the body has been holding for weeks, months or decades underneath. Before continuing, I want to be very clear about one thing: holistic therapy complements psychotherapy. There are emotional processes that need a trained psychologist or psychiatrist — and the responsibility of a good holistic therapist is knowing when to refer. That said, there is much that gentle tools (Reiki, aromatherapy, Bach Flower remedies, massage, bowl meditation) can do to accompany emotional movement. In this guide, drawn from my 10+ years accompanying this work, I explain what repressed emotions are, how to identify them in yourself, 7 concrete tools to start moving them, and when you also need a psychologist.

The space I prepare for emotional support sessions: a journal for free writing, candle, dried flowers and essential oils. A safe atmosphere so the body dares to release.

What are repressed emotions?

Let’s start with an honest definition: a repressed emotion is an emotion you felt but, at the time, couldn’t express, process or integrate. For whatever reason — and there is always a good reason — your system decided to store it. And since emotions are energetic and biochemical information, they don’t disappear because you ignore them: they stay in tissues, in fascia, in breathing patterns, in chronic tensions.

It’s important to differentiate:

Suppressed emotion (conscious)

I felt something, I knew I was feeling it, but I decided not to express it at that moment (because I was working, because it wasn’t the place, because protecting someone was more urgent). The emotion remains accessible — I know it’s there, I can return to it when I have space.

Repressed emotion (unconscious)

I felt something, it was too much for that moment (due to intensity, context or lack of resources), and my system disconnected it from consciousness to protect me. It’s still present, but I no longer know it’s there — I only see its symptoms (fatigue, anxiety, numbness, tension).

Repression is a legitimate and often necessary protective mechanism. A small girl in an environment where her anger isn’t safe represses anger to survive. This isn’t her fault — it’s adaptive intelligence. The problem comes when, as an adult, that mechanism is still activated even in contexts where feeling is now safe. That’s where therapeutic work makes sense.

How do I know I carry repressed emotions?

Few people say “I have repressed emotions.” Almost everyone says other things — and those other things are precisely the clues. Some signs I see most in consultation:

• Chronic fatigue without clear medical cause (normal blood tests, apparently correct sleep)
• Persistent muscle tension — especially neck, jaw, shoulders, diaphragm
• Easy tears without knowing why, or conversely, the feeling of not being able to cry even when something hurts
• Sense of emotional “numbness” — as if you lived behind glass
• Diffuse anxiety that doesn’t find a concrete cause
• Insomnia specifically in falling-asleep phase or 3-4 am wake-ups
• Disproportionate reactions to small situations (the last straw)
• Difficulty connecting deeply with partner or close people
• Recurrent physical patterns: functional gastritis, constant contractures, diffuse pain
• Feeling you’re “getting by” but not really alive

If you recognise yourself in several of these signs, there’s probably pending emotional material. It’s not a diagnosis, it’s an invitation to look at it with curiosity.

The 5 most repressed emotions

In 10 years of consultation, these are the ones I see most stored — and, not coincidentally, all have a strong cultural component that makes their expression difficult.

1. Anger (especially in women)

The most repressed emotion in adult women. We grow up in cultures where “an angry girl” is bothersome, where we’re asked to be “nice” and “pleasant” from very young. Anger is associated with loss of control, loss of femininity, breaking relationships. The result: many women carry entire decades of anger without having been able to express it — and repressed anger is one of the main engines of chronic fatigue, anxiety and depression.

2. Deep sadness (especially in men and high-performance environments)

The most repressed emotion in adult men and in women who grew up in environments where “we don’t cry because we have to keep going”. Deep sadness — the kind that comes from real losses, from not having been seen, from structural loneliness — is silenced with productivity, extreme exercise, alcohol, digital distraction. But the body holds it.

3. Fear (especially in “tough” cultures)

In environments where “being afraid” is a sign of weakness, expressing it is repressed and sometimes even feeling it. Result: permanent background anxiety, somatisations, hypervigilance. Repressed fear doesn’t disappear — it becomes chronic and installs in the nervous system.

4. Shame

Probably the most difficult emotion to touch because its nature is to hide. Deep shame (not the everyday kind from a bad moment, but the shame of existing, of being who you are) is rarely recognised as such. It masks as over-demanding self-standards, perfectionism, social avoidance, “I don’t deserve”.

5. Joy (sometimes)

It surprises many clients, but we also repress joy. When? When we grew up in environments where shining was dangerous (“don’t show off”), where joy was associated with guilt (“how can you be happy when there’s so much suffering?”), or where after big losses we feel that being happy would betray those who are no longer here. Repressed joy looks like a “correct” but spark-less life.

Why do we repress?

An important question because the answer changes how you look at yourself:

Due to gender

Cultures have gendered emotional scripts: women are allowed sadness but not anger; men are allowed anger but not sadness or fear. We all repress what our script doesn’t allow.

Due to culture

In productivity-centred societies, emotions that “slow down” are repressed (sadness, exhaustion). In very communitarian societies, emotions that “break the group” are repressed (anger, individuation). In “tough” societies, vulnerable emotions are repressed (fear, shame).

Due to traumatic survival

Sometimes repression is the only resource we had. In situations of abuse, violence, abandonment or sustained trauma, dissociating the emotion saved our psychic integrity. That we’re still dissociated now isn’t because something is “wrong” with us — it’s because that system is still active and needs specific therapeutic work (often psychotherapy + somatic accompaniment).

How does emotional repression affect the body?

This is where holistic therapy contributes most, because we work with the body where the emotion was stored. Some patterns I see very frequently:

Cervical and jaw tension

Anger and unspoken words accumulate in jaw, neck and trapezius. Many clients with nighttime bruxism carry anger or things they couldn’t say.

Blocked diaphragm

Deep sadness and chronic fear accumulate in the diaphragm. Short breathing, “I can’t get enough air” sensation, frequent sighs are signals.

Pelvis and lower abdomen

Shame, repressed sexuality and early childhood emotions lodge in the pelvic area. I see connection with difficult menstrual pain, difficulty releasing in sexuality, “shrinking” sensation.

Shoulders and trapezius

Loads that aren’t yours but you carry them, excessive sense of responsibility. Clients who carry family, work and everything on top usually have trapezius hard as stone.

Digestive system

Unprocessed emotions translate into functional gastritis, chronic bloating, irritable bowel. The gut is a “second emotional brain” — it’s not metaphor, there’s a neuroendocrine basis.

7 tools to start working with repressed emotions

These are the ones I use and recommend most. Important: they are gentle tools to start moving, they don’t replace psychological therapy if you need it.

1. Free journaling (writing without filter)

Take a notebook. 15 minutes a day. Write without stopping, without correcting, without censoring — whatever appears. It doesn’t have to make sense. If “I’m tired” appears 50 times, write it 50 times. It works because it lowers the guard of the conscious filter and allows repressed material to emerge to the surface. It’s the most underrated emotional self-work tool I know.

2. Self-Reiki or Reiki sessions

Reiki has a very specific capacity to access the nervous system without dialogue. For repressed emotions, this is key: you don’t need to know what’s stored for it to start moving. Many clients cry silently during a session without knowing why — and on leaving report a sense of “having released something”.

3. Aromatherapy with specific oils

Some oils have a specific tradition for emotional opening: damascena rose (closed heart), frankincense (emotional closures, deep fear), bergamot (repressed anger, melancholy), marjoram (unprocessed grief), myrrh (old pain). Roll-on at 3% on solar plexus and heart, twice a day.

4. Bach Flower remedies by specific emotion

Due to their subtle vibrational action, Bach Flowers are ideal for accompanying emotional movements without forcing them: Star of Bethlehem for old emotional shocks, Mustard for sadness without identifiable cause, Cherry Plum for fear of losing control, Holly for anger and resentment, Pine for chronic guilt and shame.

5. Body work: breathing, movement, crying

The body needs to move to process. Some concrete practices:

• Conscious diaphragmatic breathing 10 minutes a day (don’t hold the breath, only expand)
• Free movement 15 minutes with music — without choreography, just letting the body move as it wants
• Crying when it appears — without justifying, without stopping. Crying is real biochemical emotional processing (releases cortisol via emotional tears)
• Shaking the body (yes, actively shaking it 2-3 minutes) discharges stored tension

6. Holistic bath specifically for emotional opening

Once a week. Himalayan salt + 3 drops rose + 2 sandalwood + 2 marjoram. With clear intention: “tonight I allow what needs to appear to appear”. Crying in the bath is very common — and very healthy.

7. Mental health professional when needed

The seventh tool and often the most important: if what you carry is trauma, abuse, suicidal ideation, clinical depression, disabling anxiety, substance abuse or patterns affecting your daily functioning, the most responsible thing you can do is seek a trained psychologist or psychiatrist. Holistic therapy complements, complements.

Free journaling 15 minutes a day is one of the most underrated tools for unblocking repressed emotions. Simple notebook, pen, soft candle. No filter, no correction.

About my treatments at Arabian Ranches

If you’d like to go deeper into any of the topics covered in this article, at my Arabian Ranches studio I offer several treatments: Reiki with chakra balancing, therapeutic and aromatherapy massages, manual lymphatic drainage, Bach Flower therapy and personalised essential oil formulas, among others.

📋 See the full list and up-to-date pricing at Treatments.

✨ First visit: includes a free 15-minute initial consultation to understand your case and tailor the treatment. New clients also receive a 10% discount on their first treatment.

Book your session here or contact me if you have any prior questions.

Frequently asked questions about repressed emotions

Can I work with repressed emotions alone with journaling and practices?

For light or moderate emotional material: yes, it can be very effective. For trauma, clinical depression or very dense material: you need professional accompaniment, ideally psychotherapy. Knowing how to distinguish is part of the work.

How long does emotional work take to notice?

Initial changes (better sleep, more mental space) usually appear in 3-6 weeks of regular work. Deeper transformations (patterns that move, relationships that change) in 3-6 months. It’s slow and non-linear work — weeks of much movement alternate with plateaus.

Is it normal to cry in a Reiki session without knowing why?

Completely normal and often therapeutic. The nervous system accesses material the rational mind hadn’t processed. Crying is the body releasing — you don’t need to know “why” for it to be valid.

What if I uncover something I can’t handle?

That’s why it’s important to work with a professional, not alone with dense material. In my sessions, my work is to read whether what appears is manageable in that space or whether you need referral. A good therapist = knows her limits.